I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
