My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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