Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
