"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
