The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
