Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Randomize
