my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
