Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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