There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
