I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
