it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
