I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
