My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize