This house was built for laser tag.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
