the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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