The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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