office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
