Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
