that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
