Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
