Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
