Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize