Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
