I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I cannot find my penis.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
