Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
