we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A bitchslap is in order.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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