everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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