He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
