I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
