3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
