I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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