just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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