I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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