Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
