I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
