just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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