I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
