I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
