toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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