hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
