More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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