I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
