I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
