Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
soo... how was my night?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
