I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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