i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
