I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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