I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
