Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
