Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
