Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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