i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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