hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize