my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
