my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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