she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
