you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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