I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
