i barfeds in our rink
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
